


painting windows (and then opening them)

by FloingMachines



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Clarke has a crush on Lexa, College AU, F/F, Octavia has a crush on Lincoln, Raven has a crush on Anya, Theater AU, They're all in stage crew, Working on a production, stage crew au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:07:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 19,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23093791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FloingMachines/pseuds/FloingMachines
Summary: Clarke is a studio arts major at Arcadia University who design's the theater department's sets and props. Lexa has recently become the stage manager for this semester's show. Clarke has had a crush on Lexa for two years, but refuses to admit it, much less do anything about it. Could this be the show that changes that?orThe one where they're in stage crew but also in college
Relationships: Clarke Griffin/Lexa
Comments: 95
Kudos: 175





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone!  
> I asked some people on Tumblr if they wanted to see a new AU from me and the answer was overwhelmingly 'yes'. This is way less intense/serious than my last AU, it's a college AU. Basing it off my time running lights in theater/experiences with my friends in college.  
> Thank you for reading!

Windows were notoriously hard to paint. They were notoriously difficult to get right because if they looked _too_ real then it became an issue of the uncanny valley and if it looked too cartoonish then it lost the desired effect. Clarke took a step back from the panel she was painting and cocked her head to the side to see if it looked off, or if it looked off only because she had been staring at it for hours now.

“Raven!” She called for her best friend who hopped off from the grand staircase she was building with a drill in hand. “Does this window look OK? Or do I need to start over?”

“Jesus, Clarke.” Raven put her hands on her hips and stared at the panel next to her. “Is this what you’ve been painting for four hours?”

She wiped a hand across her forehead. “Yes. Does it look alright? Or should I try again and go for a less realistic look?”

“It looks great, but at this point I’d lie to preserve your sanity! How can you spend four hours painting a window?”

“And how can you spend four hours building a fucking staircase?”

They looked at each other, fuming silently, before they both burst out laughing and Raven clambered back up onto the platform that stairs led up to. Usually, Raven was a mechanical engineering major, but in her spare time she worked with Arcadia University’s theater program building sets and props. Clarke wanted her to become a backstage runner this year so that she could stick around for the show for once, but she knew it was unlikely.

Clarke was a studio art major, but her work with the theater was completely voluntary. It was a welcome distraction from her usual projects and her three-hour long studio classes. One could argue that painting sets was less expressive than a regular art project, but she felt like it was worth it. A theater was nothing without its sets, props, sounds, and lights and while it wasn’t glamorous, she found relief in working on it.

“Nice work on the window!” Octavia called as she rested her arm on Clarke’s shoulder. “I come bearing important news.”

Raven perked up and stopped drilling when she heard Octavia. “Hey, O!” She waved.

“Hey Rae!” She waved back. “Anya is Assistant Stage Manager.” She said.

“Oh shit!” Raven’s hand came up and she smacked the top of her head. “Then who’s Stage Manager?”

“Lexa Woods.”

“Nooooo!” Clarke drawled and smacked her forehead with her paintbrush unwittingly, smearing blue paint on her forehead. “You’ve got to be kidding.”

She dramatically dropped to the floor and mock clutched her chest.

“Quit it, Clarke.” Octavia warned.

“We’re never going to have any fun!” Clarke moaned. “Ugh!”

Raven ran the drill in two short bursts almost like she was firing warning shots. “Clarke, it wouldn’t be so bad to have organization backstage, would it? Especially now that O is running lights.”

“They still haven’t found someone to run sound. I would _hate_ to have to do both.” She complained.

Raven shrugged. “They’ll drag some poor computer science major or some shit to do it. I wouldn’t worry.”

“I _do_ worry though.”

“It’s a shame you won’t be backstage with me anymore.” Clarke continued to mope. “If you’re in the booth, then who’s backstage?”

“Lincoln, Monty, Finn, Murphy, and Harper. Oh, and Anya and Lexa stage managing.”

“What a boy’s club.”

“Lincoln’s nice, though!” Octavia protested.

Raven and Clarke rolled their eyes at the same time. “You’re just saying that because you have a _huge_ crush on him.” Clarke said.

“I do _not_!” Octavia smacked her shoulder. “But do we want to talk about _your_ huge crush on Lexa Woods?”

“I don’t have a crush on Lexa.” Clarke picked her paintbrush back up off the stage and began adding blue highlights to the clouds in the painted window.

“You sure about that?” Raven asked.

“Yeah, I already told you I hate her.”

“Mmhmm.” Octavia crossed her arms over her chest tighter. “You say you hate her, but I see the way you look at her. You want to hit that.”

“Yeah, I really don’t.”

“Whatever you say, Clarke. Anyways I have to go set up the new computer system. Clarke, consider _not_ fighting your huge crush on Lexa. Who knows, she could be into you, too.”

“She’s _definitely_ not into me and I don’t have a crush on her!”

“Doth protest too much.” Raven said, completely deadpan.

“Put a cork in it, we both know you have a huge lady-boner for Anya.”

“I—” Raven stammered, and Octavia laughed.

Octavia ran up to the booth and quickly closed the door so Raven couldn’t shout at her or throw anything at her. Clarke was still in the line of fire and Raven launched a roll of tape at her. Clarke shrieked and ducked to avoid the projectile.

“You know, Anya as ASM would be a good excuse for you to actually stick around for the show this year.” Clarke struggled to say as she laughed.

Raven sat down and let her legs dangle over the edge of the platform and sighed. “I don’t have a shot with her.”

“I think you do!”

“Hm.” She huffed. “She doesn’t even know I exist, Clarke.”

“She _totally_ knows you exist. She sees you putting up walls and stuff, hell every gay woman apart of this production has totally swooned over your arms.”

Raven rolled her eyes. “I don’t need an ego boost.”

“I’m dead serious!”

“Whatever.”

“Ask to stay for the production, Rae.”

“Maybe.”

“That’s better than a no.” Clarke smiled.

“Whatever.”

Clarke and Raven had made a point to get to the set build early so that they could start working without anyone bothering them. Clarke hated people trying to talk to her when she painted and Raven hated people who tried to use power tools but didn’t know how. Raven had gotten the most time consuming and dangerous work out of the way by herself so that she didn’t have to spend time trying to stop hungover college students from sawing off their own fingers.

Clarke wanted to paint all of the windows herself. She didn’t care if someone else tried to paint the walls or emulate wainscoting, but she wanted all of the windows to be uniform. They were always the first thing she noticed when she was watching a show – if they looked off then they just looked _off_. It was a hard fix and she would rather it be done right the first time.

The door to the theater opened and she turned around. Lexa walked down the aisle holding a stack of binders, presumably with scripts in them. Clarke turned back towards the panel and kept painting. She thought that painting the curtains a nice burgundy color would be nice.

“Clarke, Raven.” Lexa nodded to them as she walked on stage. “You’re here early.”

“I wanted to get a head start on the windows.” Clarke explained.

Lexa smiled slightly. “Always the hardest thing to paint.”

“Yeah.” Clarke answer hoarsely.

The problem with Octavia and Raven teasing about her over Lexa was that she definitely had a crush on Lexa. Lexa was a political science and economics double major, and her dedication and organization both terrified Clarke and (admittedly) turned her on a little bit. She was tough to crack, and a deeply private individual.

Clarke couldn’t help but sneak glances of her out of the corner of her eye. She wondered what it would take to finally have a full conversation with her. She wondered if under that tough exterior, maybe there was a fun person hidden underneath.

“Clarke?” Lexa called and she looked up to see Lexa looking up at Raven on the platform.

“Yes?”

“Do you think Raven would be able to run sound for this show?”

Raven opened her mouth as if to protest and then shut it. “I totally think she could do it.”

Lexa smiled. “Raven, would you please run sound for the show? Bellamy left to be apart of the cast and we could really use your help.”

Raven’s nose wrinkled slightly, and Clarke watched her mentally weigh the pros and cons. “Sure.”

Lexa smiled. “Thank you so much! Obviously, we’ll finish the sets first, we don’t have any of the sound stuff ready, especially because we’re still waiting on our pit orchestra.”

“Oh, we have a pit orchestra for this?” Clarke asked.

“Apparently. We’ll see how that turns out, I’m sure you remember how well that went last time.”

“Do you have a list of props we need for the show yet?” Clarke asked. She was set designer, but she was also Props Master during the shows and made most of them herself.

“No, not yet.” Lexa sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Clarke, how long have you been backstage now?”

“Like four shows now? To be honest, I don’t really remember.” 

“I have to admit that I’m worried about the inexperience of everyone else coming in.”

“Why are you worried?”

“Harper, Monty, and Finn are all inexperienced. They’re not just inexperienced, they’re also immature, and lack conviction and dedication. I don’t trust them much farther than I can throw them.”

“If you’re so worried then you could put Anya on run crew and make Lincoln ASM.”

“You’ll need his strength for running. I know you don’t do run crew though, you have enough to worry about between props and costumes.”

“I mean I can always be used in a pinch.”

“I don’t doubt it, but,” She let out a sigh of aggravation. “I think it would be good to instill a sense of responsibility starting today. I don’t want to be dealing with them fucking around when we get some of that stage Nazi propaganda in.”

“Yeah, understood.”

“I’ve already had to sign an ungodly number of waivers about that, having to prove we’re not secretly a Nazi organization or anything.”

“I feel like this production might turn into more trouble than its worth.”

“Perhaps.” Lexa sighed. “The window looks good.” She commented again as she looked over it carefully.

“You think so?” Clarke turned to her. “I’m always nervous about fucking up the windows.”

“No, I’m serious. It looks really good.”

“I don’t want anyone else painting the windows. I don’t give a fuck about anything else, but as soon as I let someone else paint the windows it’s going to turn out weird. I guarantee it.”

“I’ll make sure no one else paints the windows.” Lexa laughed. “Although one day I hope you’ll teach me your secrets for painting the perfect window.”

“Nope. These windows are my pride and joy.”

“Well, thank you again for staying with us. It’s always…nice having you around.”

Lexa disappeared backstage and Clarke sighed, setting her paintbrush down in her cup. She _totally_ had a crush on Lexa. She had been crushing on her probably since her first show, but recently it felt like it was getting out of her control. Now she was Stage Manager and she was completely unavoidable.

She made a note that she was going to try and get in here to paint around set builds. She didn’t need Lexa distracting her, or anyone else for that matter. The best way to deal with this was clearly to just avoid Lexa at all costs. There was absolutely no way this was going to end well for her if she let it carry on otherwise.

Her first show she had remained away from the backstage, but she had admired her from afar. For the first two shows Lexa had been running backstage until she became Assistant Stage Manager last show. She was half expecting Lexa to continue as ASM for this show, but she had a natural talent for leading and organizing people. Besides, Indra had wanted to step down for a while.

More people filed into the auditorium and began to sit down in seats. Clarke stepped off of the stage and sat down next to Raven and Octavia. Raven had her laptop open and looked like she was typing up some sort of code, but she wasn’t sure what it was supposed to do. Lexa sat back down on the edge of the stage with an open script.

“Hi everyone, thank you for coming.” Lexa started. “I see some new faces, and some old faces. I’d like to ask some of the …older faces to come up here so that everyone knows who they’re reporting to for this show. Octavia Blake is on lights, Octavia could you come up here?” Octavia slowly made her way up to the stage and sat down next to her. “Raven Reyes is running sound.”

“Wait, I—” Raven began to protest. “I never—”

Lexa gave her a look that put her protests down immediately. Raven made her way up to the stage sheepishly and sat next to Octavia.

“Anya is my Assistant Stage Manager, and Clarke Griffin is Props Master and set designer. She can also address any costume questions or issues.” Clarke sat next to Raven on the stage and Anya sat on the other side of Lexa. “Now as some of you may know, the show this semester is The Sound of Music.” A few people cheered in the audience. “We will be getting in some props for the Nazis, and I expect everyone to be professional with them. There will _not_ be more warnings about the matter.”

Everyone fell silent. “That’s all for today. Anya has everyone’s assignments and you can ask her or myself if you have any questions. Let’s have a productive set build.”

Clarke hopped up and inspected the panel she had been painting. The window was almost dry, but a little sticky. “Lexa?”

“Hm?” Lexa looked up from a music stand that was probably holding another script.

“Do you want me to paint curtains or are we going to use real fabric.”

“Real fabric. One less thing for you to worry about.” She looked back down at her stand. “I was thinking burgundy, but it’ll be whatever we can find in the closet.”

“Sounds like a plan, then.”

“Yes, it does.” She turned back to her script and Clarke turned back to the panel.

The set build went smoothly from there and she ended up getting dinner with Octavia and Raven. Raven threw her toolbox in the backseat of Clarke’s Jeep and she climbed in next to it as Octavia dove for the shotgun seat.

“What do you guys want?” Clarke asked as she started the car.

“I could go for some Mexican.” Raven said.

Octavia raised her eyebrows and leaned across the center console and grabbed the AUX cord for her phone. “I could do a burrito.”

“Please do not play your awful music!” Clarke slammed her hand against the steering wheel.

“It’s too late!”

Clarke put her car in reverse and backed out of her parking spot as Octavia shuffled through her music library.

“You should invite Lexa to get dinner with us one of these days.” Raven said.

“Absolutely not.”

“You should invite Lexa to look at fabric samples with you.” Raven added another suggestion.

“Would you guys please lay off? Even if I did have a crush on Lexa, which I don’t, it’s not like I’d actually want to be with her.”

“Why not?” Octavia asked. “We all see how you look at her.”

“Guys come on. And Raven are we going to talk about how you’re suddenly running sound?” Clarke looked into the backseat as she asked.

“Whatever.” Raven mumbled.

“It’s totally because of Anya.” Octavia teased. “Come on Rae, you’re like literally a lesbian fever dream.”

“Shut up.” Raven moaned in the backseat.

“You know I’ve seen her staring at you during set builds.” Clarke added.

Clarke parked the car in front of the restaurant. They had found it in their first week of school after they had all gotten high together and it had quickly become the go-to establishment for the three of them. The owner knew them by name at this point. They ordered to go and crowded into Clarke’s single.

“You shouldn’t leave canvases around.” Raven carefully moved half finished pieces of art out of the way so she could sit on the floor in front of Clarke’s small TV.

“I hardly ever have anyone in here, anyways. It’s usually just you guys.”

“You could change that, you know.” Octavia said.

“Jesus Christ, give it a rest!” Clarke threw up her hands. “And give me my fucking burrito, goddamn.”

The three of them sat in front of the television with an old sitcom from the 90s playing. They passed the bag of tortilla chips between them and didn’t say anything for a couple minutes. Tomorrow she’d swing by a thrift store near campus to start looking for fabric to make the curtains for the entire set with.

And maybe she would text Lexa some of her thoughts.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! I got sent home from college and everything became a whirlwind, unfortunately. The good news is now I am planning at the very least weekly or potentially bi-weekly updates. Thank you all for the enthusiasm! I figured we could all do with a lighter story and I'm very glad that all of you see to agree.

Studio classes could be fun, but they were also tedious. It was three straight hours of work, and sometimes that wasn’t even enough to finish the project. She had ben sculpting the same pot for three sessions now, and it still wasn’t turning out the way she had envisioned it. She had started to resign herself to the fact that she was going to have to turn it in anyways, whether or not she was truly happy with the outcome.

This was the only class she had today, and she decided she was going to use the rest of the afternoon to start thinking about and scouting possible props for the musical. There was a favorite thrift shop she frequented that would potentially have some set decorations or dresses she could hack into curtains. If all else failed she could just order show curtains from the same company that provided some of their more specialized costumes, but she wanted to make them herself if she could.

Most people thought she was a theater major upon first glance, she _did_ dedicate a lot of time to it, especially for a non-major. Sometimes she thought about changing her major to theater, but she wasn’t sure if she would be better or worse off than she was as a studio art major. If she switched it would give her the chance to work on other shows too, but it would also mean that her schedule became more hectic.

It was easier to just be a studio art major and not think too hard about the rest. It was easier to keep everything she did for the theater as a side hobby and ignore the fact that she wished she could leave this stupid fucking pottery class right then and there. The longer she spent in studio art classes, the more she regretted it.

Her phone vibrated and she reached for her back pocket as she stopped the pottery wheel. It was a text from Lexa – for a moment Clarke had forgotten that she had her number saved in case of emergencies.

Lexa: Are you busy right now?

Clarke hesitated before replying.

Clarke: Not much, why?

Lexa: I have some time and was going to go to a nearby thrift store. Thought you might want to look for props

She sighed and looked at her failed pot in front of her. She could fix it later…or just leave this one as it was.

Clarke: That sounds good, I can go in about twenty minutes?

Clarke: Do you want me to drive?

Lexa: Twenty minutes works, and I can drive. I’m already out.

Clarke began to pack her work up and she thought about the silent pact she had made to herself to avoid Lexa. There was no avoiding someone backstage, and the longer she put it off, the worse off she would be. If she really put effort into avoiding her, things would get awkward, so it was best to play nice to get the job done.

Her phone buzzed again.

Lexa: I’m guessing I should pick you up at the arts building?

Clarke: How did you know?

Lexa: Lucky guess

Clarke packed up her backpack and left the studio without another word. She stopped in the bathroom on the way out to try and scrub the clay from her hands and out from under her nails and looked at herself in the mirror. There was a small streak of clay on her left cheek and she hastily wiped it off with the back of her hand.

They could work together, they had in past. The real trouble wouldn’t start until rehearsals involving the cast came, she was sure that fists would start flying between all the people that had to be on stage at once, and she knew that Lexa would never throw the first punch, but she’d be sure to end the fight.

She sat down on a bench outside of the art building and hugged her backpack to her chest with a deep sigh. She’d do anything to get out of this studio pottery class, and the add-drop deadline hadn’t come yet. The more she thought about it (which she had so far avoided doing) the more she thought that it was time to consider changing her major before it was too late.

Lexa pulled up in front of her, driving a red sedan. She rolled down the window and leaned out. “Need a ride?”

“Only if you’re going to a thrift store.” Clarke got up from the bench and sat in the passenger seat.

“So, we’re looking for props, mostly,” Lexa explained as they drove out of campus. “We’re ordering most of the costumes from that same company we’ve used in the past.”

“They’ve been reliable in the past, but I’m sure I’m going to have to hem some of the skirts and suits.”

“I have no doubt about that. Always seems to be something wrong.”

“Do you have a list of props in mind?” Clarke asked. She had only gotten the script yesterday and hadn’t managed to read through thoroughly enough to make prop’s markings.

“I do, I have it on my phone.” Lexa picked up her phone from the cup holder absently before putting it down. “Have you read through the script yet?”

“I’ve read it, but I haven’t made any marks.”

“I think the scene where Maria and Georg dance the Laendler is going to be tough. We’re going to have to get the lighting right and if the actors don’t have any chemistry, then it’s just going to come off as awkward.”

“I agree. Who’s playing Maria?”

“Echo, and Bellamy is Gerog.”

“Aren’t they…together?”

Lexa sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “ _Yes_ , but you know what shows can do to relationships.”

“Is that worth worrying about?”

“I don’t trust Bellamy as far as I could throw him.” Lexa muttered. “Do you remember what he was like backstage last year? It’s beyond me how he was cast at all. I had full intentions of not allowing him back onto crew this year.”

“Were you expecting to become Stage Manager?”

“Indra told me that she was done at the end of last show and that she wanted me to be Stage Manager.”

“And you didn’t tell anyone?”

She shrugged. “I told Anya that I wanted her as ASM, but that was it. I didn’t want to cause a disruption, you know?”

“It did come as a surprise to some of us that you were the new Stage Manager.”

“Yeah, well I know I’m not always the most popular person backstage.”

“That’s not true.”

Lexa shot her a glare. “Come on, Clarke. I know everyone thinks I’m no fun.” She sighed. “It’s my fault too.”

“Maybe less people who think that if you came to the after parties and hung out outside the theater.”

“Do you think that?”

“Think what?”

“That I’m no fun.”

“No, I don’t think you’re no fun.” Her throat was dry as she tried to answer. Lexa’s drive was one of the reasons she couldn’t seem to stay away from her, she was always so intense. From a strictly factual perspective she was no fun, but Clarke couldn’t seem to stop orbiting her despite her serious demeanor. “I think you’re very responsible.”

She grimaced. “I’ve screwed myself, haven’t I? I have a reputation for no fun and it’s not going to help me when I discipline Murphy…”

“What did Murphy do?”

“Messed around with some of the Nazi armbands, was doing the salute at unwitting people, tried to steal one of the flags for a picture on Instagram. It’s exactly what you’d expect from that dumbass.”

“You need to discipline him, Lexa. That’s not okay.”

“We could get into actual legal trouble if he posted those pictures.”

“Which is why you need to show that it’s not okay!”

“Yeah, I will.” Lexa parked the car. “I don’t mean to be so serious all the time, you know.”

They looked at each other across the center console and Clarke tried to push away the thought that this was the closest that had ever willingly sat to each other. I would be easy to reach over and grab her hand reassuringly or kiss her…

“You wouldn’t be a good Stage Manager if people weren’t at least a little afraid of you.”

“People are afraid of me?”

“No, I mean not really, sort of? Your intensity takes people off guard.”

“What about you?”

They were staring at each other now and Clarke was trying hard not to look at her lips. It seemed now that she was actively trying to ignore her crush on Lexa, it was getting increasingly harder not to think about it.

“I think…” Clarke was trying to come up with something coherent to say. “I think that you wouldn’t be _you_ if you weren’t so intense.”

“Does my intensity scare you?” Lexa asked and if Clarke didn’t know better, she could have sworn that she licked her lips.

“No.” Clarke cleared her throat and looked away. “We should go in.”

Clarke stepped out of the car and held the door to the shop open for Lexa. The thrift shop functioned partially as a thrift shop and partially as an antiques shop and the shop was small and dim. It smelled like old wood and fabric and the shop was mostly empty in the middle of a weekday.

“We need some suitcases for Maria.” Lexa said, staring at her phone.

Clarke grabbed her by the shoulders and steered her away from the display case she was about to walk into. “We can’t do that if you don’t watch where you’re going.”

“Thank you.” Lexa laughed.

Clarke sifted through a bin full of masks, knowing full well the show did not need any masks. She picked up a mask that was meant to look like a scary devil, but mostly came off as nonthreatening and held it up to her face before turning to Lexa.

“Do you think this would be useful?” Her voice was muffled through the mask.

Lexa stifled a laugh. “No, but I think this would be useful.” She held up a suitcase that looked like it had seen better days. “A good suitcase for an ex-nun?”

Clarke put the mask back before nodding. “ _Just_ raggedy enough.”

“Let’s keep going.”

The trip continued to have a pleasant and relaxed feel. They had found a good number of props they needed and had gotten good ideas for costumes. The day had felt easy and had passed by much quicker than Clarke had expected and when they were checking out, she felt as though she wanted the feeling to continue.

They carried 2 large bags and the suitcases separately and loaded them into the trunk of Lexa’s car.

“Where are you going to keep these?” Clarke asked.

“Oh, I’ll bring them over to the theater before heading home.” Lexa slammed the trunk shut and unlocked the car. “You can come, if you want.”

“I wouldn’t want you carrying this all by yourself.”

The drive to the theater was quick and Lexa unlocked the back door to backstage for them. All the lights were off, not even the safety lights were on, and they gingerly made their way through the stage. Clarke could make out the dim shadow of Lexa’s head and some of the sets she had been painting earlier as they tried to find a suitable spot to leave what they had gotten.

“I’ll submit these receipts to the department, and they’ll reimburse me, I’ll pay you back too.”

“Oh, thank you.”

“Thank you for your help today.” Clarke could barely make out Lexa as she set her bags down and Lexa turned around and moved closer to her. “Do you need a ride back to your dorm.”

“Oh, you don’t have to.”

“It’s not a problem, where do you live again?”

“In The Ark.” Clarke lived in the main dorm complex, it was really the Freeman Complex, but it was nicknamed The Ark because of how many students lived in it.

“I live in an on-campus apartment, but I can drop you off.”

Lexa grabbed her hand and began to lead her back outside. “I really don’t want to trouble you, Lexa. I know you’re busy.”

“Are you trying to avoid me?” Lexa laughed.

“Hard to avoid you when you’re technically my boss now.”

“Ugh. I’m not anyone’s boss.”

Clarke squinted as they stepped back outside. “C’mon, that’s wrong and you know it.”

“Fine, but you don’t have to call me your boss.”

“Fine, but it is definitely weird.”

They got back in Lexa’s car and began to drive towards the dorms. “Thank you for your help again today.”

“It really is my pleasure, you saved me from a shitty studio pottery class.”

Lexa raised her eyebrows. “I thought you liked studio art?”

Clarke let out an aggravated sigh. “Yeah, well, things have been weird lately.”

Lexa nodded. “I think I understand.” She parked the car. “I’ll see you at the next rehearsal and set build then?”

“Yeah, where else would I be?”

“Have a nice night, Clarke.” Lexa said as she got out of the car and grabbed her backpack.

“You too, Lexa.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me at machinerisms.tumblr.com


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the comments on my last chapter! It's crazy how quickly people have starting looking for new fics to read. Anyways, enjoy!

The auditorium was dark again. Clarke quietly closed the front doors behind her and walked down the dark aisle, taking care not to trip. She could see the outline of the lip of the stage as she got closer and planted both of her hands firmly before pushing herself up and climbing onto the stairs and taking a deep breath.

She found the safety lights and the backstage was suddenly flooded with a soft red light. It was eight in the morning and she was skipping her Econ 101 class to start painting the staircase that Raven had built. The auditorium was silent except for her footsteps and hushed breathing as she searched for the primer for the wood.

Clarke found a long screwdriver that was crusted over with paint and pried the lid off the wood primer and began priming the set for painting. Raven insisted on using the best wood the department could afford, and on one hand it made for extremely sturdy sets, but on the other hand it required more treatment and attention than most other sets she had worked on.

She was wearing tattered and paint stained jeans and an old shirt to prime to set, it would practically strip any color out of her clothes if she got any on herself, and it would mostly likely stay on her hands and under her nails for weeks. It made the stage smell strongly of acetone and she was careful not to drip any outside of the drop cloth she had laid.

Maybe it said something about her that she would rather be priming wood for painting early in the morning rather than go to class. She dipped the old brush she used for priming into the liquid and was careful to paint even strokes over the wood. She didn’t want to have to sand the wood too when everything was said and done, although she was sure that she could make Raven sand it down for her if she had to.

After a half hour she had a square that was about a yard by a yard evenly primed. She set her brush down on the drop cloth, wiped her hands, and walked over to her bag. She pulled out an energy drink she had bought on the way over and cracked the top before sitting at the edge of the stage and taking a drink.

“Those are _terrible_ for you!” A voice said behind her.

Clarke jumped and screamed at the voice before turning around. “What the fuck, Lexa!” Lexa was standing behind her with her arms folded over her chest.

“Clarke, energy drinks are going to rot your internal organs from the inside out.” Lexa reached down to try and grab it out of her hands and Clarke leaned away.

“It’s none of your business if I want to put a drink that is 99% sugar and caffeine into my body.”

“At 9am, no less.”

Clarke took another sip from the can without breaking eye contact with her. “And what are you going to do about it?”

“Heartily disapprove.”

“What are you doing in here so early? Don’t you have anything better to do?” Clarke asked as Lexa sat down next to her.

“I was about to ask you the same thing.”

“Well,” Clarke took another drink. “Admittedly I skipped my economics class.”

Lexa clutched her chest in mock agony. “Tell me you’re lying!”  
“I fucking hate my economics class.”

“Were you in here priming sets?”

“Yeah, I wanted to get a head start before the set build tonight. I’m trying to get an even coat so I don’t have to sand it.”

“If it needs sanding just make Raven do it.”

She laughed. “That was actually my plan. I hate sanding.”

“If you make Raven sand it, it’ll give Anya another chance to stare at her arms.” Anya joked quietly.

“What?”

Lexa was quiet for a moment and fidgeted with her fingers nervously. “Anya has a huge crush on Raven and has for some time now.”

“You’re joking!”

“I’m not, and she swore me to secrecy! Shit, Clarke you can’t tell anyone.”

“Lexa, Raven has had a huge crush on Anya for a long time too! That’s the only reason she said yes to running sound!”

Lexa’s mouth hung open slightly ajar. “You’re joking.”

“I’m not.”

She was quiet and looked off into the dark auditorium pensively. Clarke continued to awkwardly drink from her can, trying to figure out a way to explain to Raven that she had shared her secret.

“We should get them together.” Lexa decided.

“Do you really think so? I don’t think that it’s that easy to just push two people who like each other together. They both have to know that the other one likes _them,_ or this just simply won’t work.” Clarke drank again. “And Raven will never make the first move. I tell her to go out and flirt with Anya or someone, _anyone_ really, and she makes up a bunch of bullshit about how she’s too busy to date someone. She’s really just scared. Anya’s got to make the first move.”

“Well we’re in luck because Anya _isn’t_ afraid of making the first move. I think if I give Anya a little nudge then she’d be more than inclined to move on it.”

“You really think so?”

Lexa shrugged. “I think it’s worth a shot and it’ll keep Raven apart of the theater, which we desperately need. Know of anyone else who has a crush?”

Clarke shifted uncomfortably where she sat. “Octavia has a crush on Lincoln.”

Lexa raised her eyebrows. “Tell me something I don’t know.” She leaned in closer to Clarke and stared at her profile. “You shifted around a little bit when I asked you that – do _you_ have a crush on anyone?”

Clarke’s face immediately heated up and she turned to face Lexa, too flustered to say anything. She opened her mouth to protest, but a weak strangled noise caught in the back of her throat came out instead. She cleared her throat and finally managed out, “No!”

“Oh, because that reaction would suggest otherwise.” Lexa didn’t move and then continued to stare at each other.

Clarke’s hands tightened around the aluminum can in her hands and the metal began crumpling under her fingers nervously. She wished that Lexa would just move away from her, she was close enough that Clarke could count each of her long eyelashes, she was close enough to make out individual hairs on her eyebrows, and she was most definitely close enough to kiss her.

Lexa leaned in and pressed a brief kiss to her lips before moving away. Clarke was rooted to the spot, awkwardly staring at her, unable to say anything.

“Sorry, sorry.” Lexa mumbled before climbing onto the stage and running out the back door before Clarke could say anything.

The can had completely crumpled in Clarke’s hands and she angrily through it into the auditorium. “Fuck!” Her frustrated scream echoed around the auditorium and she walked back over to the set.

She had sloppily primed the rest of the set in another 30 minutes. Raven would need to sand it tonight; Clarke wasn’t even sure she should show up. Lexa kissed her and she had sat there completely unresponsive and then didn’t say anything, and then let Lexa run out of the back of the auditorium. Like a dumbass. Like an actual useless goddamn dumbass.

After finishing the set as fast as possible she stormed out of the auditorium and sat in her car. She shakily opened the glove compartment and fumbled for the pack of cigarettes she kept in them. It was a bad habit left over from high school, and she tended to reach for them when she was stressed. She cracked the windows in her car and reached for the lighter she kept in her backpack.

There was no one else in the parking lot and she smoked in silence for five minutes. She didn’t want to turn the radio on, and she didn’t want to listen to her own music. She just wanted to sit and smoke and try and forget about what had happened in the auditorium.

There was no way Lexa actually liked her. It was outstandingly unlikely that Lexa actually liked her. She liked Lexa, though. It was hard to pinpoint when or why it happened, but she had somehow ended up genuinely liking her, if only from afar. She took a drag and let the smoke drift slowly out of the window, trying to envision her thoughts leaving in the same fashion. She had a lot of thoughts though, and it was hard.

It wasn’t just Lexa – it was also that she was miserable in her current major and she couldn’t make up her mind what to do about it. She was paralyzed by indecision and she felt like she couldn’t talk about it with anyone. No one knew she felt this way, although she was sure that people had started to suspect it.

_What a day,_ she thought miserably as she put her cigarette out. Absolutely nothing was going to plan, and it felt like the only thing she _could_ do was keep working on this musical. Which was why she would still come to the set build tonight and face the shitty job she did on the set and probably get yelled at by Raven about it. Maybe she would actually sand it for once just so she could keep herself busy.

She started her car and drove back to the parking lot near her dorm. The entire day was a wash now. She definitely wasn’t going to the rest of her classes, but she didn’t know where she’d go instead. She didn’t want to be in her dorm, but she didn’t want to be anywhere else. She thought that a pier on the beach might be a good candidate, but there weren’t any beaches or piers within 6 hours of her.

Raven was absolutely going to rip her a new one over the set, and she couldn’t tell her the actual reason why her priming job was even worse than usual. She didn’t want to tell _anyone_ about what had happened, it was all absolutely stupid. She was supposed to be frustrated by Lexa and they were supposed to butt heads, and she was sure that by the time actual rehearsals started that would be the case.

She drove to a 7-11 first to pick up another package of cigarettes before heading back. The one in her car had been starting to run low – her smoking habit had gotten worse since the semester had started. She idly thought that she should probably consider kicking the habit, her mother would kill her if she ever found out, but she shook her head. She didn’t have to know.

Her mother was an orthopedic surgeon back in Los Angeles who was severely disappointed when Clarke had refused to go to college for any kind of STEM field, much less biology or premed. It had been a long discussion (more like prolonged argument) about the subject before her mother had finally realized that Clarke was never going to do what she wanted her to. If she called her now and said that she wanted to change her major – well, she was sure that she would never hear the end of it.

She ended up wasting the day watching Netflix. Despite the energy drink she had that morning, she didn’t have the energy to do much else. Simply put, she was too bogged down to do anything remotely productive. She was sure that if she didn’t have the set build that night, she would have forgotten to eat anything that day at all.

When she checked the time, she realized that she was going to be late for the build, and that she had let her entire day and will to do anything fall into a carelessly constructed blackhole. She grabbed her keys off of her desk and made her way to the car, silently reminding herself to thank Octavia for volunteering to bring pizza tonight.

And then she would just avoid Lexa for the rest of tonight, if not the rest of her life.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Weekly updates? Sorry I've lost all sense of time and also like a lot of creativity. I can't really explain it. I'm sorry for not responding to any comment though! And now I'm here to update this! Sorry for the wait! I hope everyone is well and taking care of themselves.

“Clarke, you absolute motherfucker!” Raven shouted when Clarke shouldered her way through the main auditorium doors. Clarke shook her head in exhaustion and made her way over to the stage. “You know better!” Raven gestured angrily at the sloppily primed set.

“Raven, not now.” Clarke pinched the bridge of her nose. “Is Lexa here?”

Raven looked around. “Now that you mention it, she’s _not_ here yet.”

“Oh,” Clarke let out a sigh of relief and Raven raised an eyebrow. “Okay.”

“Something happen?”

“No, no.” Clarke walked up the stairs and onto the stage, inspecting the shitting primer job she had done on the set. Fortunately, most of everyone else was also running late. Clarke planted her hands on her hips and stared at her paint splattered Converse against the black of the stage. “Anya likes you.” She mumbled.

“What?”

Clarke turned around to face Raven. “Anya likes you. You should do something about it. And you didn’t hear it from me.”

Raven’s mouth hung open and she fidgeted in place. She passed her drill from hand to hand and shifted her weight around before turning in a circle and walking towards the unfinished staircase. She began drilling in screws in rapid succession and Clarke doubted that she was even drilling in the right place.

“C’mon Clarke.” Raven shook her head. “Don’t fuck around.”

“I’m not fucking around! She likes you!”

The backdoor to the stage opened and they both looked up to see Lexa and Anya walk in. Clarke’s mouth suddenly felt like it was full of cotton and she decided now was a good time to find somewhere else to be. Before she could turn away and hide in the booth, their eyes met. A slight blush tinged Lexa’s cheeks and Clarke turned away and slid off the edge of the stage.

“Where are you going?” Raven called.

“I, uh, need to talk to Octavia!” Clarke didn’t look behind her and waved her hand in the air as she spoke.

“O isn’t here yet, she’s picking up the pizza!”  
“It’s alright, I’ll wait!”

Clarke let herself into the booth and sat on the floor, slightly under the desk. “Fuck,” She mumbled and held her head in her hands.

What about Lexa? Lexa kissed her. That wasn’t exactly a bad thing, in fact it wasn’t bad, she _liked_ Lexa…she was just surprised. And then Lexa ran off before she had the chance to say anything and she had been in a shitty mood ever since. This is what she got for skipping her Econ class, she got a whole lot more emotional turmoil for it.

“Oh, is that the sander?” Clarke heard Anya’s voice from the stage and peeked over the window to see Anya standing over Raven, who was in fact holding the sander. The only reason she had to sand was because of the shitty job Clarke had done.

“Yeah, I have to fix the primer job on this wood. It’s all uneven,” Raven grabbed Anya’s wrist and pressed her fingers to the set. “See?”

“Yeah, I do. That’s pretty bad.”

“It is. So, I’ll sand it.”

Anya nodded and wandered off, but didn’t go far. Clarke sighed and sat back down, leaning against the wall. Eventually she’d have to get work done today. She wondered if it would be better to leave early and just leave it alone for the rest of the day, or potentially the rest of time.

“What the fuck!” Clarke looked open and saw Octavia holding the door open. “Get out!”

“No, wait!” Clarke stood up and Octavia walked in, throwing her backpack down on the seat. “I’m sorry.”

“You know you’re not supposed to be in here.”

“I know.”

“Then why are you here?”

“I’m hiding.”

“From who?”

“Lexa.”

“Why?”

Clarke shrugged and sat back down on the floor. Octavia raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything as she sat down in her chair. She towered over Clarke in her swivel chair and began typing on the computer and pressed buttons on the lightboard.

“Did something happen?” Octavia asked without looking around.

“No.” Clarke continued to scroll through your phone.

“You sure? You smell like you’ve been smoking again.”

“Yeah, I’ve been smoking more than usual lately.” Octavia shook her head. “C’mon, don’t tell me off.” Clarke snapped.

“I didn’t say anything. This have to do with Lexa or your mother?”

Clarke didn’t respond and instead fidgeted with her fingers.

“Both?”

“Yeah.” Clarke sighed. “It’s everything.”

“I brought pizza, if you want it. It’s on the stage and Lexa is no where to be seen if you want to go now and then quickly retreat.”

“Yeah, I’ll do that.” Clarke stood up. “ _And_ Raven’s pissed at me.”

“Raven? She’s nowhere to be seen.”

“What? That can’t be right.”

“I don’t see her on stage.”

She raised her eyebrow. “Alright then.”

“Hah, maybe she finally grew a pair and got together with Anya.”

“Maybe.”

Clarke left the booth and walked back down the aisle towards the stage where three pizza boxes were perched on the edge of the stage. She grabbed a plain piece of pizza and folded it in half while she loitered at the edge of the stage.

“Clarke!” She looked up and saw Lexa walking across the stage and calling for her.

“Hey.” She managed to get out before she felt her throat seize up.

“I need some help with paint samples.”

“Okay, I’ll be right there.”

“Alright.”

“Alright.”

Clarke found herself staring at her shoes again and slowly nibbling on her pizza. What could Lexa _possibly_ want right now? Certainly nothing after the disastrous morning, they had. What a fucking disaster, now she was going to have to deal with this tension for the entire fucking show. It was the exact thing that dreams were positively made of.

She sighed and threw her plate in the trash. _Might as well get it over with_. There weren’t many people backstage today, and there was no one in the paint closet when she let herself in. Lexa wasn’t there and Clarke wondered where she had put the samples, certainly the open can of lime green paint was not a color she had in mind for the set. Either that, or someone had been messing around in the closet again, and she was absolutely not going to tolerate that.

The paint closet was about the size of a small bathroom – one that just had a toilet and a sink. It was full of shelved lined with paint cans of varying age, and Clarke strongly suspected over half of them had gone bad and needed to be thrown out.

Lexa stepped in.

“Did you open this can of paint? Or am I going to need to have a stern talking to with everyone, because this can was practically brand new and it’s going to dry out and get gross if it’s left open.”

“Oh, no, that wasn’t me.” Lexa pulled the door to the closet shut and a lump lodged itself in Clarke’s throat. “Don’t worry, I’ll talk to them.”

With the door closed, the closet was very dim, and there were long shadows cast on Lexa’s face. Her eyes almost seemed to glow green against them, and Clarke turned away to close the open paint can.

“Where are the samples?” She asked, her hands shaking as she reached for the hammer.

“Clarke, I just wanted to say I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Clarke tried to stabilize the hammer in her hands.

“For this morning.”

“Is that why you closed the door?”

“Well, I just wanted to speak with you privately. I didn’t think you wanted anyone to potentially overhear.”

“You’re right.”

“Well, I’m sorry, okay? It won’t happen again.”

“Alright.” Clarke huffed and brought the hammer down on the lid.

Or so she thought.

The hammer slammed full force into the middle finger on her left hand. Suddenly, she saw stars and thought she was about to pass out and throw up at the same time. Tears came out of her eyes involuntarily and she began to swear violently as she clutched her hand.

“Clarke!” Lexa rushed over and looked at her finger, which was starting to become a sickening shade of purple. “Oh my god, Clarke you need to go to the hospital. Come on, I’ll take you.”

Lexa put her arm around Clarke’s shoulders and walked her out of the closet. “Anya!” Lexa called and looked around. “Where the _fuck_ is Anya? Lincoln!” Lincoln looked up from building a platform. “Lincoln, you’re in charge. Clarke needs to go to the hospital. And tell Anya to text me if you ever find her.”

“We can take my car…” Clarke murmured as Lexa grabbed both of their bags.

“Don’t be silly. You need an X-Ray on that finger.” Lexa chided her gently. “Weren’t you paying attention?”

“Not really.”

It seemed that Lexa had incidentally parked next to Clarke’s car. Lexa threw their bags in the backseat and opened the passenger door for Clarke before getting in the driver’s seat. Soft rock came over the speakers, but she could only focus on the intense throbbing in her hand.

“Clarke, are you okay?” Lexa asked as she drove out of the parking lot.

“I _really_ fucked up my finger, wow.” Clarke muttered.

“Yeah.” She agreed. “They’ll splint it, it’ll be alright.”

“Yeah.” They were silent for a few minutes. “You don’t have to be sorry.” Clarke murmured as her head rested against the window.

“For what?”

“This morning. You don’t have to be sorry.”

“Oh. Well I assume now probably isn’t a great time to talk about it.”

“It’s as good of a time as ever.”

“Oh, okay then.”

They pulled into the hospital. “To be continued.” Clarke said. “Thanks for dropping me off.”

“Dropping you off? Clarke, I’m not going to leave you alone at the hospital.”

“You’ve got stuff to do, I’m not going to make you stay.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

Lexa shut off the car, grabbed their bags, and opened the door for Clarke. She linked their arms together as they walked across the parking lot and towards the ER doors. The night air was chilly, and she was glad for Lexa stabilizing her as they walked.

She signed into the ER and they both took a seat next to each other. Clarke let out a deep sigh and fought the urge to rest her head on Lexa’s shoulder.

“I like you. I admire you. All of that good shit, you know?” Clarke said suddenly.

“Clarke…”

“I didn’t mind that you kissed me, just surprised, that’s all. Anyways, I’m bad at committing to things. Just horrible. I don’t know, I’m in a lot of conflict right now.”

“Clarke, just don’t worry about it. We can talk about it later if you want.”

“I’m just saying, I wouldn’t mind if you kissed me again.”

“Right now?”

She laughed. “No, not right now. In general, though.”

“That’s good to know.”

“Would you mind if I put my head on your shoulder? Just for now?”

“No, I wouldn’t.”

“As in you wouldn’t mind?”

“I wouldn’t mind. They said it’ll be a while, anyways.”

Clarke rested her head on Lexa’s shoulder and before she could consciously stop it, her eyes closed, and she had fallen asleep on her shoulder. It seemed like only a short while later, but it was probably longer when Lexa was shaking her awake to be seen by a doctor. He quickly did an X-Ray on her hand to confirm that the finger was thoroughly broken before splinting her finger and sending them on their way.

“I’ll drop you off at your dorm, don’t worry.” Lexa reassured her and took her arm again. “Do you need anything? Advil? Dinner?”

“It’s like midnight, is any place even open now?”

“We could go to a diner. Have you eaten anything today?”

“Not really.”

“Me neither. I know a diner around here that has pancakes to die for.”

Lexa fumbled to unlock her car and Clarke leaned on the hood. The car clicked open and Lexa stared at Clarke again.

“You said you wouldn’t mind if I kissed you again.”

“I wouldn’t.”

“Would you mind if I kissed you now?”

She paused for a moment before answering. “No, I wouldn’t mind.” She said quietly.

Lexa leaned over and pressed a brief kiss to her lips. She pulled away and opened the car door. “Come on, there’s pancakes with both of our names on them.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felt like updating again lol  
> Thank u all for commenting and supporting this :) Hope everyone is well

Clarke’s phone began ringing shortly after Lexa dropped her off at her dorm, promising that they’d get her car from the theater tomorrow, and then leaving her with a brief kiss. Her lips buzzed where Lexa kissed her and she tried to get her heartrate under control as she let herself into the building, walked up three flights of stairs, and unlocked her room.

“Hey, O, what’s up?” It was nearly one in the morning and the effects of the day were starting to wear on her.

“Are you okay?” Octavia asked. “Raven’s also listening, by the way.”

“Hey guys, yeah I’m alright. I definitely broke it, they put a splint on it.”

“Yikes, what happened there?” Octavia asked.

“I was trying to close a paint can and hammered my hand instead of the lid.”

They both groaned on the other end of the phone.

“Amateur mistake.” Raven admonished her.

“I know. I should be alright for Thursday.”

“Also, uh, because I know Lexa’s pissed…” Raven stammered. “Anya and I were…together…when she couldn’t find her.”

“ _Oh_ , well then.” Clarke raised an eyebrow, even though she knew they couldn’t see it. “You’ll have to tell me all about that over lunch tomorrow.”

“We could come over tonight if you want. You must be hungry.” Octavia offered.

“I’m alright, Lexa and I actually stopped at a diner before she dropped me off. I’m just really tired. Lunch tomorrow?”

“Definitely lunch, then.” Octavia confirmed. “Get some rest, watch your step.”

“Thanks guys, I will.”

Clarke plugged her phone in and collapsed in her bed. She would shower in the morning; she was just too fucking exhausted to even think about it right now. _So, I’m kissing Lexa now_ , she thought as she closed her eyes. It was just another aspect of her life that was surprising, but it was certainly less scary than the rest of it all.

The next morning, she got up and went to her Econ 101 class and apologized to her professor about yesterday. He seemed surprised by her apology and dismissed it, although she was sure that he knew where she actually was. She couldn’t stop her mind from wandering throughout the class – first it was the set.

There were two more set builds after Thursday, they were all day this coming Saturday and Sunday. Thursday’s was mostly going to be centered around construction – making sure all the big pieces were fully assembled. Saturday and Sunday would be her time to shine, she needed all hands-on deck to finish painting and props.

From the set, her mind wandered to Lexa. How could it not? How long had Lexa wanted to kiss her? For the past two years? She had wanted to kiss Lexa for two years, although she thought that…maybe they could be something more if it had enough time and if she wasn’t so damn distracted. For now, she could definitely accept kissing Lexa, maybe more if time permitted…

“Ms. Griffin, are you paying attention?” Her professor called her name and she jerked upright in her seat.

“Yes, yes, sorry.” She murmured.

Next was her lunch with Octavia and Raven – she wanted to hear what had happened with Raven. After all, she was partially responsible. She wondered if Raven had told Octavia about the tip she had given her. She hoped not, then she would have more to answer for than her generally disagreeable mood yesterday.

They were meeting in a student run café in the basement of one of the academic buildings. The small space was packed to the brim around lunchtime and she squeezed through the crowd to find the table that Raven and Octavia had claimed. The two of them were already chatting and they waved her over. She pulled up the last seat at the table and sat down.

“Guys, I actually went to my Econ class today.”

“No way!” Raven clapped her on the back. “You’re fulfilling your actual college duties now! What inspired you?”

She shrugged.

“Bet it was Lexa.” Octavia said as she took a bite out of her sandwich. “Also, we ordered you your favorite before it got busy, it should be over soon.”

“Thanks guys.” Clarke nodded. “And it _was_ Lexa actually.” She admitted with defeat. Raven and Octavia looked at each other and raised their eyebrows at the same time before looking at Clarke.

“Oooh, what happened with Lexa?” Raven asked.

“Nothing, she watched me shatter my finger into a million pieces, and then drove me to the hospital. She’s going to drive me over to the set build tomorrow so I can drive my car home and move it out of the lot. Now, _Raven_ , is there anything you want to share with the class?”

Raven looked away. “So, uh,” Her face went red. “We had sex in my car.” She whispered.

“You had sex in the truck!” Clarke started laughing.

“Keep your voice down!” Raven was covering her face with her hands.

Octavia clapped Clarke’s shoulder. “That was my first thought!”

“Sooooo…” A mischievous smile covered Clarke’s face. “How was it?”

“Shut up!”

“Is it going to happen again?”

“Oh my god, I’m serious, shut up!”

Clarke pinched the bridge of her nose while laughing. “Raven, I’m dead serious if you have sex on my set, I’ll kill you.”

“I won’t! I won’t! I promise!” Raven looked like she was dying.

“Uh, while we’re sharing things, Lincoln asked me out.” Octavia added quietly.

“What!” Clarke and Raven screamed at the same time. Clarke slammed her hands down on the table and Octavia shied away a bit.

“I said yes, we’re going out to dinner on Friday.”

“Oh my god, Octavia! That’s awesome!” She smiled and Raven nodded.

“So, Clarke, how did Lexa inspire you to go to class? Was it over _dinner_ last night?” Raven had her eyebrows raised and Octavia looked at her intently.

Clarke shifted in her seat, slightly uncomfortable. “It was just dinner. She convinced me to take more of an interest in my studies.”

“She convince you to take more of an interest in anything else?”

_Her lips_.

“No, don’t be ridiculous.”

“Ah,” Octavia shook her head. “You’re going to miss your chance.”

“Then so be it.” Clarke shrugged. “I can’t be in a serious relationship right now.”

Raven and Octavia sighed.

“Then so be it.” Octavia sighed.

They finished their lunch catching up on things outside of theater and then went their separate ways for class. Clarke found herself loitering outside the arts building and fidgeting. She could convince herself to go to Econ, but she still couldn’t convince herself to be in this sculpture studio for another three hours.

Her hands were itching, and she reached for her backpack, pulling out a pack of cigarettes, and without thinking lit one as she stared at the building. She didn’t want to go in. In fact, she wanted to be literally anywhere else.

“Hey there.” A familiar voice came from behind her, and she spun around in surprise to see Lexa. She hastily tried to hide the cigarette she had just lit and failed miserably.

“Hey.” She smiled nervously and hide the cigarette behind her back.

“I didn’t know you smoked.” She peered at the thin trail of grey smoke making its way into the sky.

“It’s a bad habit.” Clarke sighed. “How are you?”

“How’s your finger?”

Clarke shrugged. “Broken, but it’ll heal.”

“Why are you smoking?”

“I don’t want to go to my studio class.”

“Well, I’m done my classes for the day, if you wanted to come with me for the afternoon…instead of going to your studio class.”

“Are you trying to convince me to skip class?” Clarke looked at her curiously.

“Well you seem pretty miserable…so come sit by the lake with me?”

Clarke sighed. “Yeah okay. You’re right, I am pretty miserable.”

“You can keep smoking, it’s alright.”

“I’ll put it out if you want.”

“I’m serious, it’s alright. Is it a stress habit?”

She nodded. “Yeah and my mom would kill me if she found out.”

“Your secret is safe with me.” They walked out of the academic quad together and towards the lake. “What does your mom do?”

“She’s an orthopedic surgeon.”

“Let me guess, she’s unhappy that you’re a studio art major?”

“You got it.”

They sat down on a bench overlooking the lake. There wasn’t much wind and the placid surface resembled a nice blue mirror.

“Are you happy as a studio art major?”

“Well…” Clarke took a drag from her cigarette. “I think I’d be better suited as a theater major now.”

Lexa nodded thoughtfully. “My parents think I’m wasting my time stage managing shows.”

“Do _you_ think you’re wasting your time?”

“No, I think it’s the only thing keeping me sane.” Lexa grabbed the cigarette from between Clarke’s fingers and held it between her teeth. “Do you mind?”

“You smoke?”

She shrugged. “Bad habit.”

“I don’t mind.”

Lexa took a drag and gave it back to Clarke. They didn’t say anything for a couple minutes, silently passing the cigarette back and forth between them until there was nothing left. Lexa wordlessly looped her right arm through Clarke’s left and leaned on her silently. Things had changed so quickly between them that it almost gave her whiplash. There was a question nagging in the back of her mind and against her better judgment, she decided to ask it.

“How long have you wanted things to change between us?” Clarke asked.

“Since I first met you.” Lexa answered without hesitation.

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright then.”

“How long have _you_ wanted things to change between us?”

“Since our first show together.”

Lexa nodded. “It’s a wonder it took this long.”

“I guess so.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments on my last chapter! This piece has been a really nice break for me to write, and I'm glad so many other people seem to be vibing with it. I hope you all are well.  
> And if any of you read my last Clexa piece, I am planning on starting those promised one-shots for the universe. Sorry that I was slow on the uptake, haha.  
> I hope everyone is safe and doing well! Until next time.

Clarke stood in the dim auditorium, energy drink in hand, and Lexa standing next to her. Their shoulders were barely touching as they stared at the set. The staircase was completed, and Lexa had offered to help her finish priming the wood and sanding her past mistakes. She felt herself slowly starting to relax around Lexa and it felt…nice.

Lexa gently wrapped her arm around Clarke’s waist and Clarke sighed and leaned into Lexa more heavily before taking another sip out of the can. She was relaxed in a way she hadn’t been in a long time and even though there were more than a few things nagging at her, she could at least feel better about one thing.

“Are you ready for this weekend?” Lexa asked. 

“This is my time to shine. I’m going to be covered in paint for 48 hours or bust.” Lexa laughed and grabbed the can of energy drink out of Clarke’s hands and took a sip. “Hey! I thought you hated those.”

She nodded thoughtfully. “This tastes like fruit punch.”

“Yeah, it does.”

Lexa set it down on the steps and turned to Clarke before kissing her. Clarke let her hands come up to tangle in Lexa’s thick braided hair. It was nice, nicer than she wanted to admit, and it made her heart practically beat out of her chest. She was about to suggest that they move off the stage before someone walked in when the door opened, and they quickly jumped apart.

“Clarke, is that you?” Raven called.

“Oh, hey!” Clarke leaned nonchalantly against the set and held her drink. “You’re early!”

“So are you! Is that Lexa up there?”

“Hi.” Lexa waved sheepishly as Raven climbed onto stage.

“She drove me here.” Clarke explained and Raven nodded sagely.

“That all?” Raven asked as the auditorium door opened and they all looked over to see Anya walking in.

“Hi, Anya!” Lexa called.

Clarke had caught Lexa up on the situation with Raven and Anya when they were working earlier. The trick now was helping keep up the illusion of a secret, and maybe mess with them a little in the meantime. Raven was never early, but Anya always was. To them, it was clear that they had been together before strategically staggering their entrances.

Octavia came in through the backstage door and waved to everyone as she took a long drink of her coffee. They all knew that tonight’s build would go long – all the set pieces needed to be fully built for the weekend and the beginning of cue-to-cue. On Monday they would hopefully have their cues completed, and they could start dress rehearsals. Opening night was next Friday, and they were all on edge.

“Well, should we get started?” Lexa asked. “Octavia, do you want to hit the lights?”

Octavia nodded and dashed towards the edge of the stage and leapt off. She ran up the aisles and disappeared into the booth. Clarke watched her stare intently at the board and dramatically press a few buttons and the lights came up in full over the auditorium and the stage.

“Clarke, did you fix the priming on the set?” Raven asked as she turned to the stairs.

“Yeah, I felt bad that you were going to do all that sanding.”

“Aw, you do care.” Raven mockingly clutched her heart.

“Yeah,” Clarke mumbled. “I felt bad.”

“Well, uh,” Raven picked up her drill from where it was charging. “Anya, will you help me build the last two panels?”

“Sure, what do you need?” Anya followed Raven into the wings and Clarke and Lexa couldn’t help but share an eyeroll. Lincoln was sitting patiently next to Octavia in the booth, an she averted her eyes to pretend she simply hadn’t noticed.

Lexa was holding a massive binder with color coded tabs and giving people tasks as they filed onto the stage. Clarke couldn’t help but stare at her, her green eyes were intense, and she was clearly in her element. She sometimes wondered why Lexa wasn’t a theater major, even though her economics major suited her.

Raven and Anya were laughing together as they screwed together a rolling platform for the runners to use. Raven’s sleeves were rolled up well past her elbows, and they nicely showed off her biceps when she easily handled the drill. Lexa was more than comfortable giving directions to everyone, and Octavia looked at home behind the glass in the booth.

She watched everyone work so confidently and so swiftly, and Clarke wondered when she would feel like that. No matter what she did or where she went, she felt like she was out of place. Watching everyone comfortably work in their element just reminded her that she still hadn’t figure out where she belonged.

“Clarke?” Lexa called and she glanced over. “Can you come over here?”

Clarke made her way over to her and looked over her shoulder at her notes. “What do you need me to do?”

“Well, that’s the thing,” Lexa looked at Clarke and they were close enough that their noses almost brushed together. “I don’t _need_ you to do anything, what do you want to get done?”

“Could you help me fix up some props?” Clarke asked.

“You want me to help you?”

“I mean, only if you want to help.”

“I have to go over light cues with Octavia before dinner, if that’s alright.” Lexa looked up suddenly at the booth. “Lincoln!” She yelled. “Get your ass on stage! Sorry,” She turned back to her binder and Clarke. “I could help you after dinner if you want?”

“That’s alright, but I do need to fix some props today.”

“I can send some people to help if you need.”

“No that’s alright, I don’t need help.”

“Okay.”

Clarke removed her hands from Lexa’s shoulder and shuffled away towards backstage where she kept her props. She plugged in her hot glue gun over a paper plate and waited for it to heat up so that she could fix a few candle holders. She also needed to remove the original clasps from the suitcase and glue on new, fake ones. If she left the original clasps, she didn’t doubt that people would get into all sorts of trouble.

Clarke sat cross-legged on the floor, the glue gun in her right hand, and the broken candle holder in her left hand. Monty and Jasper had been messing around backstage and had broken a number of things – it had taken everything in her power not to rip them a new asshole on the spot.

After a very careful job with the hot glue Clarke managed to keep the holder together. The next one should go faster now that she knew that the hot glue would work, but her precision had taken the better part of an hour. Her hands were sticky with the glue, and there were small burn scars forming all over her fingertips.

“How’s it going?” Lexa stood over her.

“It’s good, I fixed the first one.”

“Everyone is taking a dinner break.”

“Is that so?” Clarke looked up and noticed that the stage was empty. “I really didn’t notice. I suppose you’re telling me to go get dinner?”

“Well, uh, I was wondering if you could help me with some paint samples.”

Clarke raised her eyebrows. “Are you _really_ asking me to look at paint samples?”

Lexa shifted uncomfortably in place for a moment. “No.”

“You know, when you do actually want to look at paint samples, you’re going to have to clarify for me.” Lexa offered her hand and helped Clarke stand up.

“I’ll remember that.”

They both looked around the auditorium quickly to confirm that everyone had left, and Clarke couldn’t help but giggle as Lexa practically dragged her into the paint closet and pushed her up against the door before kissing her. Lexa’s hands were on either side of her face and Clarke’s hands tangled in Lexa’s hair again as they pressed up against each other.

Lexa’s tongue slipped past her lips and she gasped. Lexa’s hands moved away from her face and to her hips, and then up her shirt against the skin of her stomach. Clarke let her hands drift lower, brushing over the small of her back, and then tugging at the hem of Lexa’s shirt before pressing her hand flat against her lower back.

They broke apart for a moment and Clarke could clearly see Lexa’s big, green eyes. She _did_ have a crush on her since she started doing stage crew here, and she just didn’t want to admit it. And now they were making out in the paint closet. The more time they spent around each other, the more Clarke felt like she genuinely liked Lexa beyond a simple physical attraction.

The more time she spent around Lexa, the more she wondered if she maybe wanted something more than secretly kissing sometimes. Although all coherent thoughts vanished from her mind when Lexa pushed her back against the door and kissed her harder than before, trying to tug Clarke’s shirt off her.

A knock at the door made them both jump apart. Clarke’s heart pounded in her chest as she smoothed her shirt and hair out. She didn’t say anything and neither did Lexa, they waited for the mystery knocker to reveal themselves.

“Clarke?” It was Octavia. “You in there?”

“Hey, O.”

“Are you doing alright? I know you didn’t get dinner.”

“Yeah, I’m alright.”

“Can I come in?” She asked.

Clarke and Lexa’s eyes met, and Lexa shook her head rapidly. “No!” Clarke managed out, trying not to sound too panicked.

“Look, Rae and I know that you’ve been smoking again, and that you’ve been going through some stuff. We’re worried about you. Please let us know if we can do anything, we want to help you.”

“I will,” Clarke sighed. “Thanks guys.”

“I’ve got some chicken nuggets and fries for you whenever you feel like eating.”

“Thank you, I mean it.”

“We’ve got your back, Griffin.”

They heard Raven walk away and Clarke sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“You’ve got good friends.” Lexa said. “What’s been on your mind?”

Clarke shook her head. “It’s nothing.” She looked away from Lexa, who looked so genuinely concerned it made her heart turn. “I should leave first. Avoid suspicion. You know.”

“Yeah.” Lexa agreed softly.

Clarke reached for the door handle and Lexa rushed forward to press a brief kiss to her lips. Clarke couldn’t help but smile and chuckle under her breath before opening the door to the closet and meeting Octavia and Raven on the edge of the stage to eat dinner.

She sat down next to them and let their legs dangle off the edge of the stage. “Things have been weird for me lately.” She admitted. She ate a French fry in the silence between her words and theirs.

“How so?” Raven asked.

“I feel out of place. Everyone seems comfortable and knows what they want, but I don’t.” She sighed.

“That’s alright.” Raven put her hand on her shoulder. “You don’t have to figure it out alone, you know.”

“Thanks,” Clarke picked at her fries nervously. “I’ve just been really anxious about it lately. I don’t know what to do about it yet.”

“I’m sorry we’ve been giving you a hard time.” Octavia said. “I, uh, didn’t mean to cause more stress for you.”

“No, it’s okay, I’m serious.” She insisted. “I’ll sort it out.”

“Any of it have to do with Lexa?” Octavia asked.

“No, no.” She answered softly. “The only lace where I feel like I know what I’m doing is here.”

“I feel that.” Raven swung her legs absently. “I like being here. I wouldn’t make the time for it if I didn’t.”

The three of them sat together quietly eating until people started to come back into the auditorium. Life returned to the set build, and they split up. After talking with them, things felt more manageable. Things would be okay; she could feel it.

She returned to her craft corner and fixed the other candle holder with ease before moving onto to the fake suitcase latches. Strings of hot glue hung off her fingers like spiderwebs and when Lexa came over, she couldn’t help but tease her with them and chase her around a little backstage.

A huge grin was plastered on Lexa’s face as she screamed with laughter, and it took everything in Clarke’s power not to kiss her right then and there. In her heart she knew that what she had with Lexa was bound to turn into more, she did want more, but she was afraid to admit it. The tentative friendship and making out in the closet was fragile enough as it was, and Clarke found that she liked having another friend.

“That’s a wrap!” Lexa called and clapped her hands. “Show up Saturday ready to work!”

They all cheered, and Clarke’s heart filled with pride. They were about to create an amazing show. Things were looking up.

“I’ll walk you to your car.” Lexa offered as she helped clean up. Raven and Octavia had left with their respective partners. She held out her arm and Clarke linked their arms.

“Thank you.”

They kissed again before going home.

Things really were looking up.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hey. I remembered how to update. Here you go! Next update won't be too far away, promise.

“You’re early.” Lexa commented, leaning against Clarke’s car. It was true, she had shown up nearly an hour and a half early.

“Early bird gets the worm.” Clarke hopped out of her car.

“Is that really why you’re here?”

Clarke glanced around the parking lot briefly. “No.” She cupped Lexa’s face and kissed her.

Lexa pushed her back against her car, her hands firmly planted on Clarke’s hips. Clarke wrapped her arms around her neck and let Lexa push her hands up and under her shirt. They were going to get caught any second, but she stopped caring when Lexa pressed messy kisses to her neck. They couldn’t keep it up here.

“We’re going to get caught here.” Clarke wiggled out of Lexa’s grasp and tried to steady her pounding heart.

“We could get in your car…” Lexa leaned in and whispered suggestively in her ear.

“Why?” Clarke’s laugh caught in the back of her throat.

“Could get that shirt off…” Lexa tugged at the hem of Clarke’s shirt and kissed under her jaw to make her point. “Could do a lot of things.”

“Not here, not before the second to last set build.”

Lexa sighed in defeat. “You’re right.”

“I know I’m right.”

“Do you want to head in?”

Clarke grabbed her backpack out of her car and locked it. Lexa let them in through the backdoor leading to the stage. Clarke sat on the edge of the stage, dropping her backpack beside her. Lexa stood behind her, gently resting her hands on her shoulders. When Clarke tipped her head back to look to her Lexa pressed an awkwardly executed, but brief kiss to her upside-down lips.

“I was thinking about Thursday.” Lexa said.

“What about it?”

“Are you going to switch your major? You’re so unhappy in studio arts.”

“I don’t know.”

“What’s stopping you?”

Clarke looked up into Lexa’s green eyes and bit her lip.

“I don’t know.”

Lexa let go of Clarke’s shoulders and sat beside her. “You’d do great in the theater program, and you’d know it.”

Clarke fidgeted with her fingers. “Yeah. Maybe I’ll do something after the show.”

“You should.” Lexa grabbed Clarke’s twitching fingers and laced their hands together.

“I think I have to. I can’t keep pretending that I like going to studio classes.”

“I agree. I won’t tell you to stop smoking though, even though I think you should.”

“Nah, I know I should. I’ll get there, it’s just a shit habit.”

They sat quietly in the dark auditorium at the edge of the stage for another few seconds. “Isn’t there an actual reason we got here early?”

“Oh, yeah.” Clarke smiled and turned and straddled Lexa’s hips, bringing her hands up to hold her face between them. “I can’t believe that we managed to show up at the same time without planning it.”

“I can.”

Lexa closed the gap between them and tangled her hands in Clarke’s hair. She wanted to kiss Lexa until they were breathless, until she could forget everything else, and maybe tear her shirt off to kiss the line of tattoos up her spine and her toned body. Goddamn, Lexa could light her body on fire. Her skin burned where Lexa touched her, and she was half tempted to ask her if she wanted to skip the entire set build.

Why had she been avoiding Lexa for all this time? Why had she been trying to run away from this? Lexa’s hand slipped up the front of her shirt and skimmed over her bra, lingering momentarily over her nipple. Clarke whined into her mouth and pressed herself harder against Lexa’s body. They should just skip the set build. They should just leave…

The front doors to the auditorium slammed open and Lexa stood up abruptly, toppling Clarke off the stage and onto the floor. Clarke quickly started smoothing out her hair, ignoring the throbbing in her back where she hit the floor. Lexa mouth ‘ _sorry_ ’ to her as she sat up and looked around.

“Lexa, are you in here?” Anya called.

“I’m just on the stage.” Lexa answering, trying to nonchalantly unpack her bag.

Anya walked down the rows and glanced at Clarke who was still on the floor. “Clarke, what are you doing on the floor?”

“You startled me.” Clarke said flatly.

Anya extended her hand and helped Clarke up. “You should be more careful next time.”

“I try to stay away from the edge of the stage.”

“That’s not what I mean.” Anya looked up at Lexa who was puttering around on the stage. “Lexa!” She shouted.

“What?” Lexa stopped what she was doing and looked down.

“You aren’t nearly as slick as you think you are! How long has this been going on?” She gestured vaguely at Clarke and Lexa.

“I don’t know what you mean.” Clarke lied.

“We’ve been working on the set.” Lexa confirmed, nodding.

“Cut the crap. I know you’ve been seeing each other. Do yourselves a favor and be more subtle.”

“I—” Lexa started.

“I know you were just making out on the stage.” Anya climbed onto the stage. “Why can’t you just make out in a car like normal people?”

“Harsh,” Clarke muttered.

“I get the sense that you want to keep this a secret. Be more careful. And Lexa, brush your hair.”

Anya stalked backstage and Clarke sheepishly clambered on stage. “Sheesh.” Lexa rubbed the back of her head.

“And I know you’re not actually looking at paint samples!” Anya called from backstage.

“And _I_ know you fucked Raven!” Clarke yelled back.

There was a ruckus backstage as Anya skidded out on stage, fuming. “How did you know that?”

“She told me! She’s had a crush on you forever.”

Anya quietly seethed for a minute. “Don’t tell anyone!”

“I won’t if you won’t.” Lexa remarked.

“Shut up, Lexa!” Anya’s fists balled up.

“Raven said it was good, soooo…” Clarke started to make her way offstage.

“Clarke, I swear to God!”

“Swear to God you’ll _what_?” Clarke teased her and Lexa stifled a laugh. “Am I wrong?” She punctuated with raised eyebrows.

Anya growled and chased after her. Clarke darted back on stage and into the backstage where she ran straight into Raven. Anya ran into Clarke’s back and the three of them collapsed to the floor and couldn’t help the laughter that escaped as they toppled over.

“You spilled my coffee!” Raven complained.

“I’ll make it up to you.” Anya’s voice was low, and Clarke wriggled out from between them.

“Don’t be gross.” Clarke warned, dusting herself off. “I’ll get you more coffee, Rae.”

“Is Octavia on her way?” Lexa asked. “The set’s done, today is cue to cue, cataloguing props, etcetera.”

“Last I heard, she’s on her way.” Anya helped Raven up and pressed a brief kiss to her cheek.

“We’re going to be productive today.” Lexa declared. “We’re going to be so ready for the dress rehearsals.”

More of the run crew filtered in and Clarke began quickly directing them on where and how to set up for the beginning of the show. People were running wild around the stage and Clarke was glad to be lost in the frenzy as they set for the beginning of the show, just without actors.

She lost sight of Lexa as she set up the props and lectured the backstage crew on not touching it. She had left a small paint palette out for touching up her sets and was busy covering up nicks and scratches from miscellaneous accidents.

“Places, for the cue to cue!” Lexa called and Clarke ran backstage behind Lexa as Octavia hit the lights in the house. Lexa put her headset on, and Clarke watched her carefully, her green eyes staring intensely at her script.

She was giving orders quickly and waving out runners and Clarke couldn’t help but find it hot watching her take charge. She headed towards the props table, making sure that nothing had broken already. It seemed like things were running smoothly for the most part, they were still trying to iron out lighting, but that was to be expected.

They got halfway through the play by noon, and Lexa stopped the cue-to-cue for a lunch break. Clarke had spent most of her time directing what props went where, although she acknowledged that it was difficult to properly execute without the actors to take their props.

“Raven, Octavia, and I were going to pick up Chipotle.” Clarke said to Lexa. “Do you want to come?”

Lexa looked up from frantically scribbling notes in her script. “Could you stay and help me with something, actually?”

“Do you actually need help?”

“Yes, actually! One of the bigger set pieces broke and I need help fixing it.”

“Alright then, I can stay.”

Clarke quickly made her way over to Raven and Octavia, explaining what happened.

“You’re spending a lot of them with Lexa lately.” Octavia remarked.

“What about it?”

“Make a move before you miss your chance. We’ll get your lunch for you.” Raven clapped her shoulder.

“I’ll see.”

“I’m serious. Don’t miss your chance. She’s fucking hot and everyone knows it.”

“Way to be subtle, Rae.”

She winked. “I aim to please.”

The auditorium cleared out quickly and Clarke followed Lexa backstage. Lexa dragged out the platform with Maria’s bed and sighed. Clarke immediately could see a crack spreading from one of the posts to the headboard.

“How bad is it?” She crouched down and traced the crack. “Do you think it’s structural?”

“I’m not sure. I wanted to know if you think we could glue it.”

Clarke stood up and shook the bedframe a bit. It still felt steady. “I can hot glue it and then do a finish over it. That should hold for the show, at least. It still feels sturdy enough.”

“Do you need help?” Lexa asked.

“Could you turn on my hot glue gun please?” She asked.

“Is hot glue your weapon of choice?”

“It can fix practically anything. If hot glue can’t fix it, it’s not worth fixing. Don’t burn yourself.”

“Will you kiss it better if I do?”

“You’ll be in for a lot of hurt if you burn yourself on the hot glue. Trust me, you don’t want to, especially considering I’d kiss you regardless.”

Lexa walked away from the hot glue and sat on the bed. “Would you kiss me now?”

Clarke stepped onto the platform and leaned down to kiss her, feeling Lexa’s gentle breathing and soft lips against her skin. She broke away and grabbed the hot glue gun, leaving Lexa watching her like a hawk from the bed.

“Don’t move so I can properly fuse the wood together.” Clarke warned.

“Alright.” Lexa kept watching her quietly and Clarke could feel her gaze boring holes into the back of her head.

Clarke pulled her hair back into a messy bun and she was sure she was making a ridiculous face as she concentrated on not dripping glue everywhere. She would need to go over the crack again, but not before the glue she had just laid properly dried and set. She unplugged the glue gun and set it aside before turning back to Lexa.

“I’ll have to go over it again.” She explained.

“But it’ll be okay?”

“Definitely.”

They looked at each other silently for a minute, neither of them daring to blink. No one had come back from lunch yet.

“Paint samples?” Lexa asked quietly with a goofy smile that make Clarke laugh. She was going to be the death of her.

Clarke could only laugh in response as Lexa stood up and took her hand and once again dragged her into the paint closet. The motion had somehow become all too familiar as she pushed Lexa up against the back wall of the paint closet. Lexa began popping the buttons on Clarke’s denim shirt until it hung limply off her shoulders.

Clarke’s hands found purchase just under Lexa’s shirt near her hips, her fingers teasing the waistband of her pants. Lexa crashed their lips together and hooked her leg around Clarke’s hip, allowing her thigh to push against Lexa’s center.

Lexa gasped against her lips and Clarke smiled before kissing her harder and rocking her hips forward gently. There were small gasps and whines escaping her lips and if they were anywhere else, there was nothing Clarke would want to do more than to figure out what made Lexa Woods tick, and then make her explode. Except they were in a paint closet, and she didn’t want to fuck her in a paint closet.

Except, maybe she did want to fuck her in the paint closet. She definitely wanted to fuck her at some point, make all that poise and order fall apart under her fingers and her mouth…

Her thoughts were interrupted by Lexa kissing her neck and then biting down on her collarbone. _Fuck, that’s going to leave a mark_ she thought, but couldn’t quite bring herself to care. She knew she’d let Lexa do whatever the hell she wanted to her. Lexa’s fingers were digging into her shoulders as she pinned her to the wall with her hips and her leg.

“Clarke,” Lexa whined in her ear. “We can’t do this here.”

“I agree.” She was breathless and Lexa’s fingers were skimming the edge of her bra. If only she would slip under the material…

It seemed like Lexa could read her thoughts because her hand slipped under the fabric of her bra and swiped over her nipple. She felt her whole body jerk in response and she gasped loudly before messily kissing Lexa again, it was all tongue and teeth, and she knew her lips were going to be bruised.

Things were pretty great. Lexa was pretty fucking great. Then the door to the paint closet swung open.

“Oh my god!” Octavia shouted and then immediately slammed the door. “Oh my god, RAVEN YOU’RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS!” Clarke heard her shout from the other side of the door.

Clarke haphazardly buttoned the top three buttons on her shirt and ran out the door. Her feet slipped on the stage as she ran to catch up to Octavia, who was running towards the tech booth.

“Octavia!” Clarke shouted as she jumped off the stage and hit the ground running. “Octavia!”

“How long have you been fucking?” Octavia turned around with a breathless grin on her face.

“We haven’t…” Clarke trailed off and then shook her head. “Doesn’t matter. Come on!”

“You didn’t answer my question!”

Raven poked her head out of the booth. “What’s going on?” She asked.

“Clarke and Lexa are fucking!”

“What?” Raven climbed headfirst out of the booth and dropped to the ground like a cartoon spy. “How long?”

“Oh my god, we haven’t fucked.” Clarke slapped her open palm against her forehead. “So stop saying that.”

“So?” Raven probed. “How long has this been going on?”

“Not long.” Lexa jogged up beside Clarke.

“Oh my god, I knew it.” Octavia turned in a circle before facing them again. “I knew it.”

“ _Please_ don’t tell anyone.” Clarke said. “Don’t want to cause a fiasco.”

“Whatever you say.” Octavia shrugged. “You aren’t slick, you know. The paint closet doesn’t have a lock.”

“Were you guys really going to fuck in the paint closet?” Raven asked.

“No!” Clarke and Lexa answered at the same time.

People started filing from the backstage door and the four of them looked over. “We should go.” Clarke said and Lexa nervously bit her lip.

“Hey, genius!” Raven called as they walked away. “Button your shirt!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Temporarily suspending my Tumblr.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep. Told you it wouldn't be too long. I do have a question though - should my chapters be longer? You all can be honest in the comments if you want. I've always struggled with writing chapters and I feel like most of my writing is best read in one go and not segmented, but I've been aiming for 2000-5000 word updates. Do you all feel like that's too short?  
> Anyways tysm for the comments :) in case you weren't aware, a lot of this is based off of very real experiences and conversations I've had with my friends. I really appreciate all the feedback, this really is such a happy piece to write.  
> Oh. Also. NSFW at the end ;p

She’s breathless and turned on and still has a job to do. Clarke sets up the props table with the appropriate labels with shaking hands. _Shit_ , now everyone knew. Well, not everyone, but Octavia and Raven and Anya did. And Lincoln would probably find out soon because of Octavia. Lexa is giving directions on the stage and fixing spike tape that had been improperly placed, and she’s trying to avoid staring at her.

So, they were making out? Plenty of people who worked on the shows made out with each other, but she couldn’t ignore the nagging feeling that they should probably talk about everything. She didn’t necessarily have the time or energy for a full-blown commitment, but she wanted to be with her. She had wanted to be with her for years now.

_Shit_ , she shook her head, _way to turn a good thing into a problem, Griffin._ Right now, she had to focus on making sure that she had properly made all the props. Then she had to make sure no actors broke them between Monday and the shows happening that weekend. Shit, she wanted a cigarette, but she couldn’t smoke in the theater and didn’t have time to go outside.

“Clarke?” Octavia came up next to her at the table.

“Hey, O.”

“So…” She gently nudged Clarke’s shoulder. “What’s going on with Lexa?”

Clarke sighed before shaking her head. “I’ve made a mess out of a perfectly good thing, I think.”

“Why didn’t you tell us?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. I figured it was going to peter out by the end of the show.”

“Ah. I’m guessing you don’t really want it to peter out by the end of the show.”

“No. I don’t know what the fuck I want, O. I can’t even figure out my major.”

“Well I thought that’d be an easy one.”

“What do you mean?”

“You clearly want to be a theater major. It’s obvious to everyone but yourself. Do yourself a favor and switch your major before you kill yourself with stress about the whole situation.”

Clarke was silent for a moment. “I know what I want, I’m just afraid to do it.”

“Switch your fucking major, Clarke. You have to do it even if you’re afraid it’s going to upset your mom again.”

“I’ve known that for a while.”

“We’ve _all_ known it for a while. So now what’s the hang up with Lexa?”

She shrugged. “I like her.”

“We all know that too.”

“And she likes me.”

“Again, I’m not really hearing the problem.”

She shook her head. “Is it stupid that maybe…I want an actual relationship?”

“Well I don’t think that’s stupid.”

“You don’t?”

“No.”

“What should I do, then?”

“I think you should talk to her. I have to go back now, but think about it.”

Octavia left her alone at the back table. She was right. She needed to have a better conversation with Lexa about everything. Not right now though, not in the middle of the rehearsal. She’d talk to her afterwards and hope like hell that things turned out okay.

For some reason, the runners could never seem to put the potted plants on their markers. They always tipped over or were a foot off. Or both. Clarke lost count of how many times they had run the scene by the tenth attempt – which incidentally was the attempt where the garden table got knocked over.

“I wish they would get it right.” Lexa walked up beside her after a while.

They both had their arms crossed over their chest and Clarke’s heart thudded wildly in her ears when Lexa’s arm brushed hers. They watched the inexperienced runners mess it up again and Lexa practically shouted into the headset to do it again.

“Lexa?” Clarke asked quietly as everyone but them reset the scene. “What are we doing?”

“We’re going to run this scene,” She raised her voice, so she was yelling. “Until we get it right!”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Oh,” The lights went dark. “What did you mean?”

“Like…” Clarke sighed as Lexa called another cue and fidgeted with her fingers. “I like you.”

Lexa took in a deep breath. “I like you too.”

“I have for a while, and I know I don’t quite have my ducks in a row—”

Their conversation was interrupted by a loud crash. One of the garden chairs fell over and had taken one of the prop plants with it. The lights came back up and everyone groaned as they picked up the misplaced set pieces.

“We’re going to take five everyone!” Lexa ripped off her headset. “Think about what the hell you’re supposed to be doing!”

Everyone filed back into the seats in the auditorium and Lexa made her way over to the bed they had fixed earlier. She sat down on the edge and rubbed her temples.

“I’m sorry.” She sounded almost defeated.

“It’s alright.” Clarke sat next to her. “They’ll get it eventually.”

“I want it to be perfect by tomorrow.”

“We’ve got more than just tomorrow. I promise it’ll be okay.”

“Okay.” She sighed. “What did you want to ask me about?”

“What are we doing? Like, _us_ , what are we doing?”

“Oh.” Lexa looked at her feet. “I like you.”

“I like you too.”

“We’re both running around so much. What can we be expected to do?”

“I don’t know, I just know that I need to be more decisive about what I want.”

“What do you want?”

“I want…” Clarke looked at Lexa, who suddenly looked very afraid of what she was about to say. She wanted to kiss her, but more than that she wanted a better answer as to what was going on. “We don’t need to put a label on it…this…or anything, but I do want to be with you.”

“Like…” Lexa wasn’t frowning, but she looked conflicted. “Go on dates and stuff?”

“Yeah.” Clarke nodded. “Like going on dates and stuff.”

Lexa sat quietly next to her and the silence felt like a solid fixture between them. Clarke was sure that it was going to last the whole break, and she felt like she could see the thoughts flying around behind Lexa’s eyes. There was a very good chance that she had just ruined whatever was going on between them, and her stomach was in knots about it. Leave it to her to fuck up a perfectly good thing.

“How long have you been feeling like that?”

“I don’t know. I know that…I want something secure. You know?”

“Yeah.” Lexa shifted around where she sat. “I was wondering how long it would take for you to ask.”

“This was your end goal this whole time?” The thoughts clicked together in Clarke’s mind. She had planned it all from the start. “Is that a yes?”

“I was hoping you’d come to your senses eventually. What do you want to call it?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. I like you though.”

Lexa blushed. “We’re together? We could call it being together?”

“Together,” Clarke nodded. “Alright. Can I tell my friends?”

Lexa was about to respond when Anya ran into them backstage and stopped dead in front of them. The wire to her headset was trailing behind her an she yanked the headset off and let it rest around her neck.

“Five minutes are up.” She was panting.

“Jesus, did you just run a marathon?” Clarke asked.

“I swear to God we’re going to get this right.” Her hand made a fist and she seemed to pound the air in resolution. “Lexa, are you ready?”

Lexa looked at Clarke with her big green eyes and she felt as though her heart would explode. She had always felt as though working with the theater was the one thing that she couldn’t mess up, and that was true. Working on the productions and with everyone made her happy, but this also made her happy. This felt right.

She had spent too long grappling between what everyone else wanted and what _she_ wanted. It was always hard balancing the two, it felt like an impossible task, but with this coming to fruition she felt like it was the chance to start fresh. This whole show had proved itself to be a bigger and better task, one that had focused her on every aspect of her life.

They smiled at each other before Lexa answered.

“Let’s go. No more fucking around.”

Lexa stood at her script with her headset on and Clarke set up the potted plants and put the rolling platforms into place. All they had to do was correctly place the plants and the furniture, which in theory should not have been difficult, but was proving to be a challenge. She suspected the runners weren’t quite on task and if she were a little more patient, she would have tried to figure out what was going on.

“Murphy!” Lexa’s voice cut through the darkness on the stage and the lights came back up. “What the _fuck_ are you doing?”

Murphy was holding Monty by the collar of his shirt in the middle of the stage and he looked mortified as Lexa threw her headset and stormed onto stage. Instantly, he knew he had made a mistake and just as quickly Clarke realized what the issue with the scene was. Murphy was a jackass.

“I—”

“He’s been fucking with us every time we’ve tried to set the terrace.” Monty said and Murphy dropped him to the stage.

“Oh my god.” Lexa rubbed her temples. “Murphy, get out.”

“But—”  
“Murphy, get the _fuck_ out of my sight. I’ll deal with you later.”

Murphy practically ran offstage with his tail between his legs. He disappeared out of the auditorium, most likely to sulk. He was always looking for an opportunity to act like an ass, but no one had expected him to try and pull shit during a scene change.

“Shit,” Lexa walked back over to the set and called for Miller to come over. She explained something quietly to him and he nodded. “Alright everyone, last one!”

Finally, setting up the terrace went right. Clarke watched Lexa breathe a sigh of relief and her shoulders relax when it finally went off without a hitch. They could only hope that the rest of the cue-to-cue would be better. Without Murphy, everything was practically guaranteed to go better.

She spent the rest of the afternoon and into the evening running around with props and touching up set panels as they ran scenes. She had made a list of who carried what prop, but it was sure to go to hell as soon as the actors came into the picture. Lexa was equally busy, now in a conference with Raven and Octavia about overlapping sound and light cues.

“I think I’m going to call it for today,” Lexa checked her watch as she walked over. “It’s 6 o’clock and we’ve made good progress today.”

“What’re you going to do about Murphy?” Clarke asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Well obviously he’s not going to be in the production. I’m going to tell Anya we’re wrapping up – where is she?”

They both looked around and Clarke noticed that Raven had also mysteriously evaporated. They both sighed in resignation – they weren’t going to find them any time soon and Clarke doubted she wanted to find them anyways.

“Did any props break today?” Lexa asked as they pushed one of the set panels back into place.

“Nothing other than that shit bed frame that I noticed.” Lincoln interjected.

“What he said.” She jerked her thumb towards him. “Are you really going to kick Murphy?”

“I never liked that jackass.”

Lexa held the lid to a paint can in place and Clarke gingerly hammered it back into place, wanting to avoid anymore broken fingers. Her splint was still ugly and unwieldly on her left hand and she wanted to take it off, but also didn’t want to scramble the bones in her middle finger any more than she had to.

“Do you need me to help run set pieces and props?” Clarke asked.

“I’m not sure,” Lexa frowned. “I can show you my notes.”

“I don’t have any other plans for tonight if you wanted to go over it with me.”

Lexa paused for a moment. “Alright.”

“I can give you a lift, so you don’t have to waste gas.”

“I’ll get Octavia to turn off the lights.”

They gathered up their things and hopped in Clarke’s jeep. The volume was still up from the morning and they both cringed as Clarke scrambled to turn it down. Lexa reached into the cup holder and pulled out a half empty cigarette pack and raised an eyebrow questioningly.

“What? You know I keep cigarettes in here.”

“Do you mind if I have one?” Lexa twirled it between her fingers. “I’ll crack the window.”

“I don’t mind, although I don’t think I have a lighter in here right now.”

“I have one.”

“Really?”

Lexa held the cigarette between her lips and pulled a small lighter out of her bag. She breathed the smoke out the window and tapped the ashes into the small astray Clarke kept by her gearshift. It was quiet in the car, and she appreciated the moment she had to herself. The sun was setting, and it was throwing wayward orange light into the car, and when Clarke glanced over it bounced distractingly off Lexa’s eyes.

“How do you think today went? Be honest.” Lexa asked.

“I think it went well.”

“I’m not as organized as Indra. She never would’ve allowed Murphy to get out of hand.”

“That’s not true. He’s been an ass since I met him, and nothing was going to change that. You handled it the best you could.”

Lexa sighed. “I don’t want to fuck it up.”

“Hey,” Clarke reached across the center console to grab her hand. “You’re not going to.”

“How do you know?”

“It’s going to be great. It’s up to the director to organize the actors, and once we get it all put together it’ll be great. You’re going to be great.”

“I hope so,” She shook her head. “You know I’ve been thinking about changing my major, too.”

Clarke held her breath for a moment. “Really?”

“Yeah, really. I thought this show would prove to me that it was a stupid idea…but I think it might be the opposite.”

“What have you been thinking about doing?”

“Dropping my econ minor and picking up a theater double major.”

“Still really going for it, huh?”

“What do you mean?”

“You do a lot. You’re always so stressed. Although a double major combination like that seems like it would set you up nicely to be a lawyer.”

“That’s what I was thinking.”

“It’s smart.”

“Do you think I could do it?”

“Yes.”

It was almost impossible for Clarke to believe that Lexa had been facing a similar struggle and decision to her this whole time. It was the kind of revelation that shocked her to her core – Lexa was always so confident and put together. She was organized and focused and she was struggling with identifying what she wanted in just the same way Clarke was.

Lexa kept smoking quietly in the passenger seat and Clarke focused on driving them back to her room. Did Lexa really have notes to give her or was she just trying to get her alone? Either way it was alright with Clarke, she was desperate just to spend time around her outside of the theater.

Clarke parked in front of her dorm and Lexa put out her cigarette in the receptacle outside. She swiped them in, and they elected to take the elevator up after a long day of rehearsals. It was only going to get longer from here, and she made a mental note to stop for energy drinks before tomorrow’s rehearsal. They were going to need the caffeine.

“Do you really have notes for me?” Clarke asked as they stood in the small elevator.

Lexa’s face flushed. “Not really…no.” She admitted. “I just want an excuse to be around you. If that’s alright.”

“Of course, it’s alright!” The door opened and they stepped out into the hallway. “My room is kind of a mess; I don’t have a lot of people over.”

“That’s alright.”

Clarke unlocked the door and internally cringed when she opened the door. The floor was covered in canvasses in various states of work, and there was a half-worked ball of clay on her desk. Her bed was unmade and had an open pack of markers on it and there were half done set concepts tacked to her walls.

“I’m sorry.” Clarke rushed to try and stack up the canvasses. “None of these are important.”

“These are nice!” Lexa picked up a small oil painting of a red and white rose. “What was this for?”

“Oh,” Clarke took it from her hands and examined it. “I think I did this as an oil painting test.”

Lexa carefully traced the petals on the red rose. “It’s really nice.”

“I like working with oil paints, but that’s not very practical for a set.”

“It seems delicate.”

“It is. That’s why it’s not practical.”

Lexa set it down on her desk. “You really are talented.”

“You don’t need to flatter me; I already like you.”

“I’m serious!”

Lexa sat down on the floor and carefully picked through the canvasses, leaning against the wall. She took the time to examine each canvas before stacking them and Clarke helped push extra paint and brushes and empty canvasses under her bed.

“How have you not stepped on anything yet?” Lexa asked as she made her way towards Clarke’s unmade bed to slide the markers back in the package.

“It’s a very delicate process.”

Clarke took the package of markers and set it on her desk. She heard Lexa pad up behind her and wrap her arms around her waist from behind. Lexa gently kissed her neck at the juncture where her neck met her shoulders. She sighed and leaned back into Lexa.

“Hi.” She said, trying to sound nonchalant, but she could feel her heart pounding.

Lexa nuzzled her neck. “Hi.”

“Do you have a plan for replacing Murphy?” Clarke asked.

“Miller’ll do it.”

“Are you sure.”

“Uh huh.”

Clarke turned around and Lexa pinned her against the desk. She wrapped her arms around Lexa’s neck and pulled her in for a kiss. She let Lexa’s hands wander up from her hips and up to her shirt to start undoing the buttons. Her lips traveled to her check and then to her jaw and down her neck to her exposed collarbone.

Clarke’s hands slipped up Lexa’s shirt and rested on her shoulder blades. She could feel her flexing as she pushed her shirt off of her shoulders. She tugged at the bottom of Lexa’s simple t-shirt and forced Lexa to break contact for a moment to pull it over her head.

Clarke pushed back against Lexa and started backing her towards her bed that was pushed against the wall. Lexa’s knees hit the edge of her bed and she sat down. Clarke buttoned her jeans and threw them aside and Lexa awkwardly shimmied out of her pants and threw them aside as well. Clarke leaned down and kissed her again and Lexa pulled her by her hips onto her lap.

She reached behind Lexa and her hands were shaking as she tried to unclasp her bra. She could feel Lexa chuckle against her skin as the clasp unsnapped and Lexa finished pulling her bra off. She brought her hand up and brushed her thumb over her nipple. She gasped into her mouth and deepened the kiss.

Clarke pushed her back against the bed and Lexa laid back against the mattress as Clarke straddled her. Their eyes met and Lexa opened her mouth as if to say something for a moment before closing it.

“Take off your bra.” Lexa’s voice was hoarse, and her pupils were blown out.

“Okay.” Clarke breathlessly nodded and she slipped her bra off and it joined the growing pile of clothes on the floor.

She can see Lexa’s tattoo peaking out from behind her neck and she traced the black lines with her fingers. Lexa shuddered under her touch and wordlessly grabbed her wrist and brought her fingers to her lips, pressing kisses to her finger pads.

She shifted her weight slightly so that her thigh pressed up between Lexa’s legs. Lexa audibly gasped and went stiff under her, her fingernails digging into Clarke’s hips. Clarke leaned down and kissed her again and felt Lexa’s thigh shift, so it was pressing against her center.

“Did I do that?” Lexa asked coyly.

“You know very well what you did.” Clarke gritted her teeth trying to remain composed.

“What are you going to do about it?” Her voice was barely a whisper now.

Clarke hooked her fingers around the waistband of Lexa’s underwear and quickly discarded them before gently tracing patterns on the inside of Lexa’s thigh. She gasped at the contact before ghosting over her clit and kissing Lexa again.

“What do you want?” Clarke whispered in her ear as she continued to tremble with anticipation under her.

“I want you to stop stalling and fuck me.” Her sentence was punctuated by a short laugh.

“I’m not stalling.”

“Then what are you waiting for?”

Their eyes met, and their noses were barely brushing. Clarke had always admired Lexa’s eyes, she could never seem to escape them, like the eyes on a painting. She had always thought eyes being windows to the soul was a little corny, but as she looked into Lexa’s eyes, she thought that she finally understood why people said that.

She gently rolled her wrist and her index finger slipped into Lexa without any resistance. Lexa gasped and her back arched against the mattress, pushing into Clarke. Clarke paused for a moment, her heart beating wildly as she waited for Lexa to say something.

“You can move.” Lexa panted. “Please move.”

Clarke gently thrusted her hand, the heel of her hand pushing up against Lexa’s clit. A string of quiet swears left Lexa’s mouth, and her hand snaked between their bodies and let the residual motion help push her finger into Clarke.

“Shit.” Clarke hissed at the contact and rolled her hips against Lexa’s hand.

She wasn’t going to last long like this, not after the long day they had, and from the noises Lexa was making it seemed like neither was she. A thin sheen of sweat was forming on her brow from concentrating on the situation at hand.

“Clarke,” Lexa moaned, and Clarke nodded, curling her finger up.

“Shit, I’m going to come.” Clarke managed out before letting the orgasm wash over her.

Lexa went still under her and dragged her down, so their bodies were flush, dragging her teeth against her neck. “Just a little more.”

Clarke nodded mutely, letting her thumb circle her clit before Lexa came undone under her, breathing heavily and then dragging her in for another heated kiss. She didn’t move for a couple minutes and neither of them said anything until Clarke dragged her haphazard blanket up and around them.

“Are you okay?” Clarke asked, sitting just to the side of Lexa who was still laying on her back.

“Yeah,” Lexa nodded before looking at Clarke. “Hold me?”

Clarke settled back down into her bed behind Lexa, slinging her arm over her side, and then pulling her close. She thought Lexa might have said something, but couldn’t catch it before she fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Temporary new URL: qu33n-of-peace.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me at machinerisms.tumblr.com


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